25 Days of Christmas Confessions [3/25]

Confession #265: I wish airports wouldn’t jack up ticket prices just because it is the holidays. If they didn’t I would be there for Christmas. No one should spend Christmas alone.

25 Days of Christmas Confessions [1/25]: 

Confession #257: It finally hit me that after I see him at Christmas, I don’t know when I’ll be with him again. And I’m afraid it’s going to hit him too. But instead of holding on, he’s going to let go.

Confession #217: We’re talking less and less before he deploys and it’s scaring me.

Confession #209: I wanted to be in the Air Force, but I fell in love with a Marine and couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore.

Confession #204: Although we both can see us married and happy together, I can’t help but think that it’s just a dream and will never happen.

Confession #200: I am scared about his Top Secret security clearance. I hate thinking about the fact that they can take him from me for any amount of time and not tell me a damn thing about it. If he gets hurt or dies I am afraid I’ll never know until way after the fact because of this.

Confession #192: I refuse to say this aloud for fear of jinxing it, but I feel guilty that my husband hasn’t been deployed yet (probably will never be) and gets to be with me during the birth of our first child. I get to spend every day with him while other SOs don’t get to.

Confession #175: I hate that I can never stand up for myself when it comes to you. I wish I could stand up for myself and maybe you would have more respect for me.

Confession #163: Sometimes, I get angry that he joined the Air Force. I feel like he left me in this place that I hate with his family that is awful to me to fend for myself.

Confession #161: Sometimes I feel as he enjoyed his time at BMT and tech school because he was able to get away from me.